Tag: sexual abuse

Miracle money, talk-time, touch: My foot!

Mirical MoneyGENDER FOCUS with EMELDA MWITWA

Zambia Daily Mail Limited May 4, 2017

A PASTOR was arrested in Chisamba district recently for defiling five girls, two of them his own flesh and blood. The 49-year-old repeatedly had carnal knowledge of the girls aged between 10 and 14. Call him a masquerader who has been disowned by his church, but my concern is on ‘unsuspecting’ women and girls falling in the sexual trap of dishonest clerics. This is just one of the many cases where some of our clerics have made news for the wrong reasons. Women have been the worst victims, but now, we have seen girls also falling prey to dishonest ministers of the gospel.

What makes women and girl children easily fooled than their male counterparts is that the former are normally driven by desperation to do things that are unbiblical at the command of the preacher. As far as some women are concerned, anyone who comes in the name of God is infallible. If he is able to quote a few scriptures and claim to be operating under prophetic power, they will do anything he asks them.

And the men and women who are cheating people in the name of God have seen how people nowadays hunger not for righteousness or service for God, but the gifts and blessings.

People want quick money, miracle talk-time, miracle jobs, supernatural promotions and anything that comes miraculously, regardless of the fashion in which it comes.

In an ideal world, the Church should teach their members to work hard to earn money, but now, the prophets are encouraging laziness among their followers because their miracles allegedly come instantly.

Young girls and boys should be encouraged to study and have future ambitious of what they want to do when they complete school.

Children should know that education presents a myriad of opportunities for them to have a better future and also contribute to socio-economic development.

 And of course, with the Lord helping them, they will pass examinations if they study and will be able to achieve whatever they want in life.

The Bible does not say Christians should get things on a silver platter; they too need to earn their bread by hard work. According to the Bible in Proverbs 10:4 ‘A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich,”, whereas 2 Thesalonnians 3:10 says ‘The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.’

These are among, the many scriptures that teach us to work hard, so where this spirit of people flocking to church to with folded hands to get miracles is coming from, no one knows. Even Jesus Christ the son of God was a carpenter before he went into full- time ministry. To me, this teaches us to work hard for what we desire, and then we can pray to God to bless the work of our hands, according to Deuteronomy 15:10.

So adults should model hard work to the children so that they are not cheated, and eventually sexually molested by people who twist the word of God for personal gain.

Believe you me, women and girls who are being cheated by unscrupulous clerics are not grounded in the word of God.

And because of the unique needs of women for such things as attention from their husbands, the desire to meet Mr Right and the need to conceive, they allow these people to abuse them. Some women allow the so called clerics to touch them inappropriately during ‘prayers’ without raising alarm. Ideally, the Bible should serve as a model of how we ought to pray, how we need to conduct ourselves during fellowship and how we should to relate with the clergy or opposite sex.

But when things get to a point where a woman makes a complaint of sexual assault or rape allegedly occasioned by a pastor, one wonders how the cleric was allowed to stray in that area. Not to say that the cleric can’t drift away, but before anyone who comes in the name of God goes that far, there must have been some danger lights flickering. But most women choose to ignore danger signs and hence finding themselves alone in secluded places with the prophet or at the mountains for deliverance.  Any woman in right frame of mind should raise alarm when the prophet starts making funny suggestions like ‘let’s go to the mountains for prayer’ or ‘I need to sleep with you to exorcise the spirit of bareness.’

Surprisingly, some women make it a habit go to the prophet’s house and entering private rooms for prayers or counselling. And sometimes, this cleric will be alone at home though knowing fully well that he has an appointment with a certain woman or girl.       

And why should the clergy of the opposite sex give you private counsel on ‘sensitive’ matters behind closed doors?

Obviously, some bedroom issues will require the clergy to provide counsel in the presence of his spouse, and if possible, the counselee should also be accompanied by their partner.

Emotional attachments development due to carelessness between the counselee and the counsellor. Our girl children are now falling prey because they see their mothers, sisters and aunties going to all lengths to please the ‘prophets’.

How come, it’s only the girl children who are on record of being abused by clerics of questionable character? I believe they have seen women flocking to these places, probably they have accompanied their mothers before.

Some mothers even put their young daughters on ‘special prayer’ programmes at the prophet’s house.

It’s unbelievable that in this era when girl children are at worst vulnerable to sexual abuse, that a mother should send her daughter unaccompanied for a series of prayers.

If need be, there is nothing wrong with young girls going for ‘special prayers’ but they need to be accompanied by adults to protect them from the ongoing abuse of children.  

Apart from that, mothers and fathers alike need to educate their children about the wolves in sheep skin that are going about cheating people.

Girls should be told that no man should touch them inappropriately even if he claims to be a servant of God. They also need to know that a true servant of God will not take them to a secluded place for prayers. Come on women, let’s guide our girl children properly so that they are not misled and abused.

emeldashonga@yahoo.com/eshonga@daily-mail.co.zm

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Miracle money

Child Abuse and Trauma Management – Facts, Culture, Lessons to be learned

FENZA attracted over 50 people to its regular conference on the 24th April 2013 dedicated this time to child abuse and trauma management. The Director, Father Gotthard Rosner, was very pleased to introduce the Bemba group Fimbusa founded in 2008 and aiming at preserving traditional cultural values. This group is composed of six men and 17 women from various cultural backgrounds but using primarily Bemba symbols in their teaching. They operate as a research group within FENZA.
Jacek Rakowski, from the Home of Hope, was also invited to present facts about the reality of child abuse. According to his research, 85% of cases of abuse are related to neglect, so called emotional abuse. It is particularly the case in dysfunctional families or related to social poverty. For many children, life is nothing else than a hostile environment. Consequently, traumatic experiences remain as lifelong scars. Physical abuse, including sexual ones, from which discipline beatings are not easy to distinguish, ends up with injuries.
Sexual abuse takes place most of the time within the family set up where the “conspiracy of silence” and the denial of abuse reinforce the traumatic burden of the victim. Very often, abusers have been abused themselves and also need help.
Finally, to conclude the presentations, Patrick Mumbi, psychologist and anthropologist, gave a magisterial presentation of the negative effects imparted upon victims of child abuse. As counsellors or helpers, we are all invited to listen to the various personalities which are hidden within a traumatised person. By all means, an abuse should never be hidden. It must be said, preferably denounced. The wrongdoer is the abuser, not the child.
We are looking forward to attend the next FENZA Conference.

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